Would You Please . . . .

Go wish Becky a happy birthday! (And Beck, sorry about the 65 on the cake. I just noticed it. I'm not implying that you are hitting retirement age. . . )

And Kendra: you're a bag. A bag with bad grammar. I'm not sure what's worse. Your miserable attitude, or your inability to chastise someone without looking like a monkey that can't write in English. But just for future reference:

1. "He is supporting you being able to stay home" - this is an incorrect conjugation. (Possibly not the only thing incorrect in your life, but whatever). Should you wish to be correct, perhaps you could try something like "He supports you so that you can stay home."

2. "I understand being a little upset but . . . " A hint. Whenever you find yourself using two contrasting ideas in a sentence, that have equal weight, you are using two clauses (No, not Santa, but you are probably on his naughty list and haven't seen him in a while). When you use 2 clauses, you separate them with a comma.

3. "Also, they are whose (sic) responsible for your birth." So, there are two problems with this sentence: firstly, it's not a complete sentence, and um, you meant who is. Whose is an adjective. Who is, is a gerund. It would be good if you could keep them straight. Especially as we are wondering who you are, and what happened to make you so mean.

4. "They are who you should be with". Well, actually, they are (at least in your odd little world) whom she should be with. I know the who/whom thing is tricky.

5. "If your husband misses your KIDS birthday completely". This is a possessive. The birthday belongs to the kids. Becky's birthday, on the other hand, belongs to her. Please use an apostrophe to indicate this, and please just let Becky celebrate in peace.

6. "Wiping poopy buts". In this particular set of circumstances, butts has two T's. Courtesy on the other hand, only has one. Perhaps you could have paid more attention to that courtesy?

7. "2.5" kids. Around the IF and babyloss world, we don't count babies in the womb or birds in the bush. How nice that you have always been able to count yours from day one. The rest of us count about when they start first grade. We consider counting them any earlier as hexing someone. This alone is enough to incur my wrath.

240 words, with 6 major grammatical mistakes, and a virulent display of meanness.

My mother had a saying. "Is it nice, is it true, and last but not least, does it need to be said." If you can't figure that out, I offer grammar lessons every Wednesday. Stick around.

(and there I was, complaining to Mr. Spit I had nothing to write about today!)