Monday Miscellany

• My funny clothing story from Thursday: I walked around all day Thursday with a giant bleach stain on my bum. And no one told me. I'm not sure if I usually walk around in such a state of clothing disrepair that no one thought this was remarkable, or if no one looks at my bum. I am strangely suspicious and bothered that no one looks at my bum.
• My funny shoe story, from Friday: I went out to my garden to bring forth lettuce and zucchini (your free with lettuce gift!) goodness for my co-workers. I threw on my garden Crocs. Which are beat up, covered in dirt and stain and paint. I cut the lettuce, fought the good fight with the elephantine sized zucchini plant, and wrestled forth its fruit. Then I went into the house, bundled up the lettuce (carefully disguising the zucchini). I left the house with bags o'produce. I drove to work. Three-quarters of the way there, I thought "My feet feel awfully comfortable". Yep, I wore my ratty, dirty gardening Crocs to the office. All day. I am such a loser. (A loser with comfy feet, mind you. . .)
• Americans, perhaps you could assist me: You have this election thing going on (and on and on and on, but I digress). You are electing a new president of the United States. So, could someone please tell me why Barack (whom I like) is in Afghanistan, Iraq and Europe? Have many voters there, do you? (Yes, I know it's about foreign policy credentials, but it still amuses me that your guy is campaigning in Germany and Paris.)
• The local phone company has decided that we must all dial our area code, before we dial the phone number, even for local calls. It is entirely possible that I may lose my mind. If I hear the words "the local number you have dialed must be preceded by its area code" one more time, I may lose it. It's a local number. That's why it doesn't need an area code. I'm not dialing New York, I'm dialing my friend who works 9 blocks away from me. . . .