- I got points because I don't squeeze the toothpast from the top.
- I can't play a musical instrument (subtract a thousand points!)
- I don't want to get up for breakfast (subtract a thousand points!)
- I don't dress for breakfast (umm, how do I do this when I am still in bed. I'm giving myself back the thousand points!)
- Fails to sew buttons on, or darn socks. (But I do - I take the clothing to the tailors, and I hold the socks over the garbage can and say "darn, darn". I'm giving myself another thousand points, because I actually knit Mr. Spit socks out of a wool cashmere blend. So there!)
- Give husband shampoo or manicure (What, are you a freak? He can wash his own hair and clip his own nails, darn it! Dumb question. I'm giving myself a hundred points for just reading it)
- Has minor children to care for - list number (Umm, just don't go there, ok? I get a million points for what I've been through)- Neat Housekeeper - tidy and clean. (I'm going to hell, aren't I? Ok, take away 10,000 points)
- Puts her cold feet on husband to warm them. (What, that's not a virtue?)
- Walks around house in stocking feet. (Uh, huh. Must be an American question. Canadian's take off their shoes. Really, we do. Another hundred points for reading a dumb question!)
According to my precise calculations, I get all the points I need to be a superb wife. So there, stupid test.
 | 38 As a 1930s wife, I am |
(Images of the Famous Five, who were also scorned and ridiculed for being bad housewives. You can read about them here.)
