Unravelled

Saturday - 1 am.
Husband arrives home from business trip. Puts GPS in car. Announces that Muenster, SK is not in Jane the GPS. No worries, you have map. Also, Humbolt in in GPS.

Saturday - 9:30 am.
Finish putting baggage in car. Finally important deliberation on what knitting you are bringing. Plug GPS into mount. Get crash course in using. Kiss husband, dogs and cats good-bye. Drive away.

9:31 am
Circle block. Park in front of house, go back in. Get maps, also registration information. You are really leaving this time.

9:50 am
Arrive at other member of knitting-philosopher's group. Do not actually knock on door to let her know you have arrived, rather, walk down the side of her house to check out her very nice looking garden. Is ok, she saw you arrive, and knew to find you looking at garden. Get back in car.

10:05 am
Arrive back at your house to give Mr. Spit key to your mother's house, so he can feed her cat. You really are leaving now. Honest.

10:25 am.
Arrive gas station for fill up. Realize that you can't remember what side the gas tank is on.

10:35 am
Also, you don't know where the hood release is, so that you can fill up the windshield wiper fluid. This is going well, isn't it?

10:42 am
At Tim Horton's for coffee, breakfast sandwich - out of eggs, extra sausage, hash brown thing and 40 timbits. There are only two crueller timbits left. Resolve to try to cope as best you can. Leave with no hash brown. Sandwich has egg.

10:44 am
Ahh, on the road.

1:00 - ish
Holy yarn - how far is it to Lloydminster for bathroom? Also, discuss need for scale of washroom suitability. Decide that you could do scale with woman looking increasingly uncomfortable, with legs more and more crossed. Possibly lowest score could be bush beside highway. Ahh, Tim Hortons.

You know - Jane saying "recalculating" could get slightly annoying.

3:00 pm
North Battleford. Pizza place. Have to beg them to sell you and knitting-philosophy partner 1 pizza, at the 2 for 1 pizza place. Also, as always, get lost. Jane does seem to be sounding depressed when she says "recalculating".

4:00 pm
Saskatoon.

4:20 pm
Wow, they really do the speed limit in Saskatchewan. Completely the speed limit. Exactly the speed limit. Precisely the speed limit. Kill me now.

4:45 pm
Why are there cows on the road? Not cows. Pigs? Pigs. There are pigs on the road. Herd pigs back into farm yard with car. Wonder if you should get out, but decide you can barely see the back end of pigs. Wilbur was cute. This sow and her piglets were not cute. But, would have been waste of good bacon to run them over. Realize you forgot to take picture of pigs on road.

4:55 pm
What is that smell? Ugh, that's awful. Open window to find out. Opening window at 120km/hr is perhaps not clever. Paper goes flying past you. Paper called "map". "Map" will tell you how to the Abbey in Muenster. Express worry. KP partner grew up in a small town. Assures you, can't be hard. Muenster is small town. Abbey is big. Abbey has Cathedral. Cathedral has spire. You can find the spire in a flat Saskatchewan town. Also, still not sure what smell is, but opening window didn't help.

5:00 pm
Jane announces you have arrived at your location. Except you haven't. Pull out Map from Google Map, to figure out how to get from Humbolt to Muenster. Map from Google does not seem to bear any resemblance to present location. For example, none of the highway numbers seem to be the same. Also, no Muenster or Humbolt on map. Town called "Prince Albert" on map. Still not sure where "Prince Albert" is, although Jane keeps "recalculating" and trying to turn you around, as you.have.arrived.at.your.destination.now! Perhaps a few moments of un-philosophical language ensues. Decide to continue to drive straight. Must be sign or something.

5:05 pm.
Muenster - 8 KM
Odemeter - 42,368 KM

5:06 pm.
Muenster turn off
Odemeter - 42,371 KM
(more un-philosphical language)

5:07 pm
Reach end of Muenster. Do you see a spire?
Jane continues to "recalculate".

5:07:32 pm
Aha. Spire.

5:09 pm
Which parking lot are we supposed to be in? And what building? Oh, that was on the map. . . .

5:12 pm
After locating knitter (we saw her shawl, determined she was our kind of person), arrive through front door of Cathedral. Door SLAMS shut behind us. . . .