The Toby Awards


The Toby Awards

Given to those who perform silent but heroic acts. Those that would never think of praising themselves. Those who work hard to make the world a better kind of place, just by virtue of who they are and the decisions they make.


The Nominee's.

Nominee 1:
So, for this week, it was quite an easy decision. Nominated by Geohede, Jen from Here We Go Again. Who in Geohede's words "has worked pretty tirelessly for this community". Absolutely. I couldn't say more. In the midst of her pregnancy with the wonderful and lovely Elizabeth, she walked with us in our journey's. It would have been easy for her to try and insulate herself from our pain, to say that it was to difficult to walk through our stories while she was pregnant, and never once did she. I imagine it was hard, but she is always present, always listening, always reading. In a world that so often doesn't want to hear the voices of dead baby mum's, she is present and with us, and we are thankful.

Ladies and gentlemen, if you would join me in raising your glasses - to Jen for her kindness and compassion and willingness to abide - truly rare gifts in our world.
To Jen.

Nominee 2:
I haven't spent all that much time in the land of IF. I suppose 5 years of not really trying, but, I'm not a veteran. This week I read a post about two veterans. If there is dread, something to make a veteran cringe and wince, it is knowing that one in our midst must deal with a new baby. This is a particular form of torture for all of us. Jenn and Heidi have waited a long time, and as I saw a picture of a little girl wearing an "I'm the big sister" T-shirt, all I could think of was how there were supposed to be 2 cousins there. And there weren't. Jenn and Heidi are still waiting for their miracle on earth, missing Blue and Honeydew.

It is hard, a type of hard that the rest of the world doesn't see, to go and see and make a fuss over a new baby when you so desperately want your own. It is a moment of digging deep, and making a particular decision about the kind of person, the kind of family you want to be.

Jenn and Heidi did this. They held on, dug deep, and welcomed a new baby in their midst. They accepted their pain, and recognized a new baby in spite of it.

Ladies and Gentlemen, would you join me in raising your glasses to Jenn and Heidi, who have displayed real courage and grace (And not just because Jenn is a crazy woman letting someone spray her with mace). They made a decision and accepted hardship to bring someone joy, and deserve our admiration.


To Jenn and Heidi.