Someone should be celebrating her second daughter's birthday, and instead she's remembering that her daughter couldn't stay. And another blogger posted, wonderfully about this. Which is a good and kind thing, to remember together.
When your best friend's husband leaves her and the kids for his 19 year old secretary, you don't rave about the lingerie your husband bought you for your birthday.
When your SIL's mother has died, you don't phone on the anniversary of her death and talk about your mother.
And when someone's child has died, you don't comment that you'll kiss your own kids because you are so sad. That's rude. More than rude, it's actually mean. Cruel. Thoughtless.
It's all of those things because you are making the situation about you, and not about the hurting person. It's mean because you are being selfish. It's inappropriate to respond to someone's grief with your joy.
There are appropriate words for this situation. Two of them.
You could go a step further. You could add 4 more words.
I'm thinking of you.
And if you can't figure out how to be nice, how to be polite, how not to make a bad situation about you, shut the hell up.
I mean it, muzzle it.