So, the Mister and I are on our way Vegas today. . .
One of the things we are going to do is go to the Hoover Dam with Martha and her family. (Tickets are bought. Also, you may have heard, they are building a bridge there. Mr. Spit is vibrating, he's so happy).
Anyway, you know me (well, you don't, not in the real world, but let's move on, shall we?) I like to research stuff. So, I go on to the Hoover Dam Tour website, and I look around, then I click on the link marked "plants". Ok, so they have cactus at the Hoover Dam. Only cactus. That's ok, its the desert, and really cactus can be quite lovely. Also, as a species, they are spectacularly easy to identify. Sooo, cactus.
Then I click on the wildlife. I like to know what I should be expecting to see. Coyotes are the first on the list. Meh, we have those around here. They aren't that exciting, and frankly, ours look pretty flea bitten (actually, it's mange, but never mind). Unless they are stealing chickens from your chicken coop and you have to race after them with a pitch fork (True Story! I can't make this stuff up!), they aren't a big deal. Then we have squirrels. These are antelope squirrels, but I have to tell you, they look pretty squirrelish to me.
The next item is rattle snakes. Oh. Charming. Let's keep looking, shall we? Gila monsters. Well, there's some cool factor there, but ewww. About the grossest thing I've seen in a long time. Next?
Ring tailed cats, now those are cute. Cute, snugly adorable. We'll ignore the bit about the cloud of noxious fumes when startled. I've known some people who can do that, and let's face it, nature is red of tooth and sharp of claw, and it's hard to get by when you are cute.
Then we have, oh crumb. Is that what I think it is? That's what I think it is. Just breathe Mrs. Spit. It's December. All the little scorpions will be in their wee ickly hidey holes, dreaming of sugar plums and santa claws. *Shudder*.
And last. Oh, last. Yes. I'm grimacing. I'm gagging. There are tarantula's? Oh. I do not think I am ok with that. I do not think I am at all ok with that. Not even a little bit. Spider. Ugh. Furry Spider? Ewwwww. I'm waving my hands in front of my face, making *that* sound.
So, we are off to the Hoover Dam. Where we will not be taking ANY nature walks. Just saying.